LIFE gave me everything. It gave me a father, a
mother and work as well. I was just a little girl and my childish heart already
loved the little I had. My little eyes absorbed everything. From an early stage
I had realized this was not the life I was waiting for. I learned to read and
to see. Then, I measured distances between cities and paths. I used to feel
that there was something more beyond what I could see. I produced bigger dreams
than myself, wondered between dreams and worlds that I didn’t met but knew that
existed. I spent hours imagining how to escape this place. I was just a child
and already knew I didn’t want that destiny for me. My body self shaping the
people who taught me until my growing mind felt thirsty of other knowledge.
Always restless and curious, I lived anxious because my body was under
developed. I still did not conceived that it would be with that body of mine
that I would have to build my path and my bridges. I was surrounded and tamed
by other minds, while my own found refuge in another world. I had hunger for
everything, from the candy to the culture. I took books as my allies and
friends. It was them who showed me other philosophies. Myself, a bare foot
little girl, partially toothless and carrying dirty clothes, I was already
owner of a bended body, even before it was fully formed. I would satisfy my
anxiety with candy wrapped in multicolor paper.
Until finally my day arrived! That one I
desired. That day in which I was going to release myself from everything.
But life
was much more precise and critical. I have journeyed in scary dreams where the
thirst and the heat taught me they’re lessons. Was I really simply a young
woman with a very fragile body? Or was there something stronger that was
dominating and beating me? I know now, that since always, a very old soul lived
within me. She used to punish me, with the harsh truth in the meaning of life.
I slept under the moonlight, underneath a throw
of stars that didn’t cover me, such they’re magnificence. Little by little I
matured, seeing war skeletons tamed like beasts. Life was nothing more than a
garret, hidden in time, inside my own elements. After my own share of reading
and writing, I developed my own philosophy. I only saw myself as a body from
which I served myself. Until when the God who guided me, pointed to me my own
soul that was living also inside my body.
I
observed the Milky Way, the comets and the stars as worlds from where my soul
came from. I felt progressively missing. I have questioned everything, even
those who gave me life. But I was still the little girl who ate candy.
I left this reality, this fabricated world, from
which I knew nothing. My dreams fed me and took me away from the land, until I
discovered that everything that I imagined was true and possible.
I started them to accept that I came from
another place. But how to understand this thirst for knowing in this inhabited
planet.
I felt myself deep buried in work and other wars
that tormented me.
Today I call
life as a burnt flame.
I accept
this blue planet as my home.
I accept I
am in a boat and just passing.
I have,
therefore, a lot of courage, to sail this journey which without remembering I
decided to take.
After
seeing human beings crawling like serpents, abandoned on the roads, victims of
others mean minds. I found it was time to leave behind my memories. My heart
was awaken for the path of life and has shown me who I am. I am a wise soul,
but as naïf that wants to live and experiment everything. Maybe because I do
not wish to come back. Maybe that’s why I have this side that comes with me,
this will to read and write and evaluate my life. The mirrors distort my stare
and my body that is no longer straight, but still discreet. Like water when it
arrives at the lake. From so much spinning I become myself a noria.
I am a
pure water spring,
The thirsty death.
The life that tortures me,
The punishment that beats me,
Remembering who lives within me.
One day,
if anyone finds me, they will know that I passed here, not only existing, but
everything to see. From such a bended body, it does not matter anymore what may
still come.
But my arrival has not been in vain. It embraced
the magic wand of life, so to trough writing I could serve others.
When the
body does not find peace, I write with the soul.
This one,
who here presents itself like an indigent, it’s me,
waiting at the soul door.
Authoress: Joaquina Vieira 31/7/2015
